Author Topic: Don't know how to break up with my girlfriend  (Read 186 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline dallas_r

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 22
  • Faith: Trying to become Orthodox
  • Jurisdiction: OCA
Don't know how to break up with my girlfriend
« on: October 13, 2018, 08:59:58 PM »
Hello all.

I am unsure how to break up with my girlfriend. I am very close to her and love her dearly, but she is not Orthodox and I don't think she wants to convert. In addition, we aren't old enough to marry, so there's no point in dating. I want to break up with her because we engaged in sexual acts outside of marriage and she wants more, which the fallen man inside me craves, but I know it's wrong. I stopped praying for like 4 months because I chose her instead of God. This was clearly an awful choice and I'm just trying to get back on track. As I said, she genuinely loves me and is an ideal woman by modern standards where being Orthodoxy is not a requirement. Loving, caring, kind, beautiful, and all the good stuff, but I can't just leave God and His Church over a worldly woman. I know my heart will hurt by leaving her, but it's nothing compared to how I've hurt Jesus and disappointed Him, but I guess I'm just scared. I'm gonna feel bad too, she's always been there for me and is gonna be a mess when I tell her I want to break up.


Any help is appreciated, thank you.
"Praise be to the Lord my Rock,
    who trains my hands for war,
    my fingers for battle.
 He is my loving God and my fortress,
    my stronghold and my deliverer,
my shield, in whom I take refuge,
    who subdues peoples under me."

Psalm 144:1

Offline RobS

  • Formerly "nothing"
  • Protokentarchos
  • *********
  • Posts: 3,593
  • Pavel Florensky and Sergei Bulgakov
  • Faith: Neo-Patristic Synthesis
  • Jurisdiction: The thrilling romance of Holy Orthodoxy
Re: Don't know how to break up with my girlfriend
« Reply #1 on: October 13, 2018, 09:19:12 PM »
Why won't she convert?
"The business of the Christian is nothing else than to be ever preparing for death (μελεπᾷν ἀποθνήσκειν)."

— Saint Irenaeus of Lyons, Fragment XI

Modernist thinking and being consists of nothing but uncritical acceptance.

Offline hecma925

  • Non-clairvoyant, but you can call me Elder
  • Hoplitarches
  • *************
  • Posts: 15,905
  • Unbreakable! He's alive, dammit! It's a MIRACLE!
  • Faith: Truthful Chalcedonian Truther
  • Jurisdiction: In Hell I'll be in good company
Re: Don't know how to break up with my girlfriend
« Reply #2 on: October 13, 2018, 09:28:53 PM »
Tell her exactly what you just wrote.  It's honest and, yes, it will hurt.
Happy shall he be, that shall take and dash thy little ones against the rock. Alleluia.

Once Christ has filled the Cross, it can never be empty again.

"But God doesn't need your cookies!  Arrive on time!"

Offline IXOYE

  • Site Supporter
  • Archon
  • *****
  • Posts: 2,378
Re: Don't know how to break up with my girlfriend
« Reply #3 on: October 13, 2018, 09:29:39 PM »
I understand your situation, but if you speak with a spiritual father as you have done here he should be able to help you.  You say you want to get back on track, then the help of a spiritual father is needed. 

You must pray fervently for your girlfriend whether you break up or not.  And since you are interested in married life you should pray for a wife daily should she not be your future wife.  There are akathists meant for these purposes.

Offline WPM

  • Protokentarchos
  • *********
  • Posts: 4,915
Re: Don't know how to break up with my girlfriend
« Reply #4 on: October 13, 2018, 10:30:06 PM »
Just tell her the truth.
The Sign and Prayers to the Blessed Virgin Mary

Offline JTLoganville

  • Elder
  • *****
  • Posts: 313
  • Faith: Orthodox
  • Jurisdiction: GO Metropolis of Pittsburgh
Re: Don't know how to break up with my girlfriend
« Reply #5 on: October 13, 2018, 11:10:31 PM »
I understand your situation, but if you speak with a spiritual father as you have done here he should be able to help you.  You say you want to get back on track, then the help of a spiritual father is needed. 

You must pray fervently for your girlfriend whether you break up or not.  And since you are interested in married life you should pray for a wife daily should she not be your future wife.  There are akathists meant for these purposes.

+1

A spiritual father of four decades ago told me that

"every human relationship is an eternal responsibility"

Offline Rubricnigel

  • Elder
  • *****
  • Posts: 314
  • Vini vidi vici
  • Faith: Orthodox
  • Jurisdiction: Midwest
Re: Don't know how to break up with my girlfriend
« Reply #6 on: October 14, 2018, 10:21:41 AM »
Hello all.

I am unsure how to break up with my girlfriend. I am very close to her and love her dearly, but she is not Orthodox and I don't think she wants to convert. In addition, we aren't old enough to marry, so there's no point in dating. I want to break up with her because we engaged in sexual acts outside of marriage and she wants more, which the fallen man inside me craves, but I know it's wrong. I stopped praying for like 4 months because I chose her instead of God. This was clearly an awful choice and I'm just trying to get back on track. As I said, she genuinely loves me and is an ideal woman by modern standards where being Orthodoxy is not a requirement. Loving, caring, kind, beautiful, and all the good stuff, but I can't just leave God and His Church over a worldly woman. I know my heart will hurt by leaving her, but it's nothing compared to how I've hurt Jesus and disappointed Him, but I guess I'm just scared. I'm gonna feel bad too, she's always been there for me and is gonna be a mess when I tell her I want to break up.


Any help is appreciated, thank you.

1 corinthians, 7:11-16

I'd say to not end it. Stop the sexual aspect, explain why you wish to do that. Is she Chrisitian? If so, people change, she could change later in life. If you love her, ans she loves you try to work through your issues. If it fails after you've genuinely tried your hardest then so be it, but you ending love because what you "think" might not happen will always nag your inner thoughts.

Stop sexy time, explain your issues, take a break. But work on it first.  Genuine love like you say she has for you, is something good. Ill pray for you.
« Last Edit: October 14, 2018, 10:21:54 AM by Rubricnigel »