Author Topic: Inquirer of year and feeling unworthy/not allowed to become Orthodox  (Read 957 times)

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Offline IzzyB

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Hello!
I have been praying about becoming Orthodox for about nearly a year now. But I feel as if I am not worthy of trying to join the Church, nor would I be allowed. I grew up in a very anti-religion household (with my mother and father both rebelling against their families-- Father's family is Russian Orthodox/RC and Mother's family is Greek Orthodox and Orthodox Presbyterian.) I was apart of a very lax back Christian club in school and upon graduating high school and being on my own I was baptized as OPC (Calvinist). I married young and moved across the country to a young Marine who was Lutheran but not practicing. We divorced after 18 months (and one child later) due to extreme child abuse and domestic violence from his doing. I lost faith for so long, I didn't go to church anymore. I struggled for a year through the court system fighting to keep my son safe, which I was successful. I then met my current boyfriend (of now 6 years.) He has raised my son as his own, has stood by my side through counseling for abuse victims, my son's 2x near death diagnoses of Type 1 Diabetes and abdominal obstruction. Has never pushed me to have sex due to the abuse. Marriage is now a very serious topic for us now, its a matter of when he will propose now. He also has all of the paperwork ready to adopt my son.

But he is not baptized. In the past 6 years that we have been together I have seen him go from denying there is a God to having conversations (hours!) with me about Faith and what I believe and how I teach my son. I want him to find his own path to Christ rather than "force him".

The Greek Orthodox Church I attend has told me that unless he is baptized I will not be allowed a membership to the church. My son might be able to be baptized but they would rather it be as a family. I cannot force him to want to be baptized and I don't believe in him becoming baptized to allow me to join.

My heart yearn for this. My heart needs this, but now I feel like unless I leave him I won't be able to fulfill it. I've had so many talks with the Spiritual Father. Do I leave him? Am I kidding myself and I am just too far gone for the Church and God. For once I found a Church I felt at peace and safe in, home even. I found a Church where my family has roots (RO and GO) but I have messed my life up and now I might never get to know of what is. :'(
Lord, I do not know what to ask of You. You know better than me what my needs are. You love more than I know how to love. Help me to see clearly my real needs which I do not see. I open my heart to You. Examine and reveal to me my faults and sins. I put all trust in You. I have no other desire than to fulfill Your will. Teach me how to pray. Pray in me. Amen.

Offline Iconodule

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Re: Inquirer of year and feeling unworthy/not allowed to become Orthodox
« Reply #1 on: June 09, 2018, 08:34:35 PM »
If he marries you, will they then receive you without requiring him to be baptized? That might sound strange but we know that married pagans were received into the church all the time without requiring their spouses to convert. If the clergy at this parish can’t understand this basic historical fact, then find another Orthodox Church in your area. If necessary approach them after your marriage as a fait accompli. I don’t normally advocate priest-shopping but when it comes to this pointless rigidity it is worth considering.
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When a time revolts against eternity, the only thing to set against it is genuine eternity itself, and not some other time which has already roused, and not without reason, a violent reaction against itself.
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Offline biro

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Re: Inquirer of year and feeling unworthy/not allowed to become Orthodox
« Reply #2 on: June 09, 2018, 08:40:01 PM »
Lord have mercy. Prayers for you.
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Offline IzzyB

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Re: Inquirer of year and feeling unworthy/not allowed to become Orthodox
« Reply #3 on: June 09, 2018, 08:43:49 PM »
If he marries you, will they then receive you without requiring him to be baptized? That might sound strange but we know that married pagans were received into the church all the time without requiring their spouses to convert. If the clergy at this parish can’t understand this basic historical fact, then find another Orthodox Church in your area. If necessary approach them after your marriage as a fait accompli. I don’t normally advocate priest-shopping but when it comes to this pointless rigidity it is worth considering.

They do want him to be baptized, and have plainly and unwaveringly stated it. I recently have found another Orthodox Church in our area, an OCA church, we don't have to attend the GO but it was the closest that I found and it wasn't Coptic (which there are quite a few in our area.) I was jstarting to feel as if I just wouldn't be allowed and being judged (while yes, I am living in sin as we are unwed as of now..but chaste).
Lord, I do not know what to ask of You. You know better than me what my needs are. You love more than I know how to love. Help me to see clearly my real needs which I do not see. I open my heart to You. Examine and reveal to me my faults and sins. I put all trust in You. I have no other desire than to fulfill Your will. Teach me how to pray. Pray in me. Amen.

Offline IzzyB

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Re: Inquirer of year and feeling unworthy/not allowed to become Orthodox
« Reply #4 on: June 09, 2018, 08:51:26 PM »
Lord have mercy. Prayers for you.
I appreciate it ! Thank you, this is weighing on me heavily .
Lord, I do not know what to ask of You. You know better than me what my needs are. You love more than I know how to love. Help me to see clearly my real needs which I do not see. I open my heart to You. Examine and reveal to me my faults and sins. I put all trust in You. I have no other desire than to fulfill Your will. Teach me how to pray. Pray in me. Amen.

Offline Iconodule

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Re: Inquirer of year and feeling unworthy/not allowed to become Orthodox
« Reply #5 on: June 09, 2018, 08:53:47 PM »
No one has the right to judge you and you shouldn’t feel the least ashamed. One has to ask what your priest hopes to accomplish by throwing this obstacle in your path. When I was received in the church I was in a situation at least as... irregular as yours. The priests I spoke to all understood my situation and did not want to make it difficult for me to enter the church. I was baptized and then, in time, the other loose ends were tied up. I hope it can be that way for you.
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When a time revolts against eternity, the only thing to set against it is genuine eternity itself, and not some other time which has already roused, and not without reason, a violent reaction against itself.
- Berdyaev

If you would like a private forum for non-polemical topics, comment here.

Offline IzzyB

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Re: Inquirer of year and feeling unworthy/not allowed to become Orthodox
« Reply #6 on: June 09, 2018, 08:58:27 PM »
No one has the right to judge you and you shouldn’t feel the least ashamed. One has to ask what your priest hopes to accomplish by throwing this obstacle in your path. When I was received in the church I was in a situation at least as... irregular as yours. The priests I spoke to all understood my situation and did not want to make it difficult for me to enter the church. I was baptized and then, in time, the other loose ends were tied up. I hope it can be that way for you.

Maybe should I pass an email to the OCA church, they have the Archpriests email address posted on the church site. Then maybe I can make an appointment to see him. I don't think it would hurt?
Lord, I do not know what to ask of You. You know better than me what my needs are. You love more than I know how to love. Help me to see clearly my real needs which I do not see. I open my heart to You. Examine and reveal to me my faults and sins. I put all trust in You. I have no other desire than to fulfill Your will. Teach me how to pray. Pray in me. Amen.

Offline Ainnir

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Re: Inquirer of year and feeling unworthy/not allowed to become Orthodox
« Reply #7 on: June 09, 2018, 09:24:12 PM »
Lord, have mercy on your handmaiden.  I think your instincts are right in how you are dealing with your boyfriend, and your chances are absolutely not ruined, either because of the present situation, or past abuse.
Is any of the above Orthodox?  I have no clue, so there's that.

Offline Thomas

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Re: Inquirer of year and feeling unworthy/not allowed to become Orthodox
« Reply #8 on: June 09, 2018, 09:26:33 PM »
I would look into OCA or Antiochian jurisdictions; they would accept you and bring you into the faith and then work with you and your boyfriend before marriage to help him enter the faith.
Your brother in Christ ,
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Offline Iconodule

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Re: Inquirer of year and feeling unworthy/not allowed to become Orthodox
« Reply #9 on: June 09, 2018, 09:27:34 PM »
It might be worthwhile to talk to the priest and get to know that parish. The marriage is the tricky thing. If you had gone to the GOA parish already legally married, I doubt they would have taken the same hard line about your husband being baptized. An already married woman converting is not locked out until she brings her husband in too- Saint Paul says as much in 1 Corinthians.  Now someone who is already Orthodox is expected to marry a baptized Christian in an Orthodox ceremony. But this rule can’t apply to the existing relationship of someone who is not yet Orthodox. This would be like requiring all those pagan converts in the early church to get their spouses to convert too or else tough luck. I hope this isn’t too rambling or confusing- I just wanted to tease out the issues as a priest might see them so you know how to take the best approach.
Quote
When a time revolts against eternity, the only thing to set against it is genuine eternity itself, and not some other time which has already roused, and not without reason, a violent reaction against itself.
- Berdyaev

If you would like a private forum for non-polemical topics, comment here.

Offline IzzyB

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Re: Inquirer of year and feeling unworthy/not allowed to become Orthodox
« Reply #10 on: June 09, 2018, 09:28:50 PM »
I would look into OCA or Antiochian jurisdictions; they would accept you and bring you into the faith and then work with you and your boyfriend before marriage to help him enter the faith.
The Church that I have recently found that is even nearer to us is an OCA. I have passed an email along to the Archpriest there. Hopefully we are able to connect and chat.
Lord, I do not know what to ask of You. You know better than me what my needs are. You love more than I know how to love. Help me to see clearly my real needs which I do not see. I open my heart to You. Examine and reveal to me my faults and sins. I put all trust in You. I have no other desire than to fulfill Your will. Teach me how to pray. Pray in me. Amen.

Offline IzzyB

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Re: Inquirer of year and feeling unworthy/not allowed to become Orthodox
« Reply #11 on: June 09, 2018, 09:34:01 PM »
It might be worthwhile to talk to the priest and get to know that parish. The marriage is the tricky thing. If you had gone to the GOA parish already legally married, I doubt they would have taken the same hard line about your husband being baptized. An already married woman converting is not locked out until she brings her husband in too- Saint Paul says as much in 1 Corinthians.  Now someone who is already Orthodox is expected to marry a baptized Christian in an Orthodox ceremony. But this rule can’t apply to the existing relationship of someone who is not yet Orthodox. This would be like requiring all those pagan converts in the early church to get their spouses to convert too or else tough luck. I hope this isn’t too rambling or confusing- I just wanted to tease out the issues as a priest might see them so you know how to take the best approach.
Not to ramble at all! My boyfriend feels terrible for the heartache I am going through. But like I feel, we both don't want him to get baptized until he wants it. Otherwise it would be meaningless, a sham. I have passed an email to the OCA parish to get in touch and next weekend we will be attending Liturgy.

I agree with you though, I don't think the GOA would have blinked an eye if we were already legally married. As I know many parishioners there that are married to a non-believer.
Lord, I do not know what to ask of You. You know better than me what my needs are. You love more than I know how to love. Help me to see clearly my real needs which I do not see. I open my heart to You. Examine and reveal to me my faults and sins. I put all trust in You. I have no other desire than to fulfill Your will. Teach me how to pray. Pray in me. Amen.

Offline Antonis

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Re: Inquirer of year and feeling unworthy/not allowed to become Orthodox
« Reply #12 on: June 09, 2018, 10:00:19 PM »
The GOA, for better or for worse, requires an Orthodox marriage be performed if one or both members of a couple are received into the Church. Canonically, Orthodox Christians may only marry Orthodox Christians. GOA economia only extends so far that Orthodox Christians may marry other trinitarian Christians, and the same standard is applied to potential converts. Thus your current predicament, which is unfortunately not uncommon. It is not at all about the particular priest, and it's really not in his power to make adjustments without the approval of the bishop. Nevertheless, I agree with Iconodule's sentiments, and I hope something can be worked out for you!
« Last Edit: June 09, 2018, 10:03:38 PM by Antonis »
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Offline IzzyB

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Re: Inquirer of year and feeling unworthy/not allowed to become Orthodox
« Reply #13 on: June 09, 2018, 10:57:35 PM »
The GOA, for better or for worse, requires an Orthodox marriage be performed if one or both members of a couple are received into the Church. Canonically, Orthodox Christians may only marry Orthodox Christians. GOA economia only extends so far that Orthodox Christians may marry other trinitarian Christians, and the same standard is applied to potential converts. Thus your current predicament, which is unfortunately not uncommon. It is not at all about the particular priest, and it's really not in his power to make adjustments without the approval of the bishop. Nevertheless, I agree with Iconodule's sentiments, and I hope something can be worked out for you!
I have cme to realize that with the GOA there really isn't a way around it. As upsetting as it is for me, I have to keep faith and pray that somehow...someway I can join the Church. It is a hard thing to swallow, and it has me feeling unworthy of God. Even my boyfriend tells me that is not true, but it feels that way.
Lord, I do not know what to ask of You. You know better than me what my needs are. You love more than I know how to love. Help me to see clearly my real needs which I do not see. I open my heart to You. Examine and reveal to me my faults and sins. I put all trust in You. I have no other desire than to fulfill Your will. Teach me how to pray. Pray in me. Amen.

Offline Antonis

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Re: Inquirer of year and feeling unworthy/not allowed to become Orthodox
« Reply #14 on: June 09, 2018, 11:10:59 PM »
Your predicament as you've described it is blameless. You will find your way! I'll say a prayer for you.
"Verily they that seek Thee, Lord, and keep the canons of Thy Holy Church shall never want any good thing.”
St. John the Merciful

"This is the one from the beginning, who seemed to be new, yet was found to be ancient and always young, being born in the hearts of the saints."
Letter to Diognetus 11.4

Offline Justin Kolodziej

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Re: Inquirer of year and feeling unworthy/not allowed to become Orthodox
« Reply #15 on: June 09, 2018, 11:16:05 PM »
The GOA, for better or for worse, requires an Orthodox marriage be performed if one or both members of a couple are received into the Church. Canonically, Orthodox Christians may only marry Orthodox Christians. GOA economia only extends so far that Orthodox Christians may marry other trinitarian Christians, and the same standard is applied to potential converts. Thus your current predicament, which is unfortunately not uncommon. It is not at all about the particular priest, and it's really not in his power to make adjustments without the approval of the bishop. Nevertheless, I agree with Iconodule's sentiments, and I hope something can be worked out for you!
I have cme to realize that with the GOA there really isn't a way around it. As upsetting as it is for me, I have to keep faith and pray that somehow...someway I can join the Church. It is a hard thing to swallow, and it has me feeling unworthy of God. Even my boyfriend tells me that is not true, but it feels that way.
I hate to criticize my own, ahem, "jurisdiction" but I don't see where the issue is with baptizing you if you're chaste and not legally married.

Anyway, fun fact: The OCA goes back to the Russian mission in Alaska, so you actually have valid roots there too. Let's pray things go well with them.
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Offline Sethrak

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Re: Inquirer of year and feeling unworthy/not allowed to become Orthodox
« Reply #16 on: June 09, 2018, 11:18:34 PM »
Well Izzy ~ He has to be introduced into our Faith and The Lord ``` If he believes The God he will be baptized ~ you can't marry someone who in not a Christian ~ it will cause such trouble later ```

You've been together 6 years ~ together ~ well ~ It's time he got it together ~ so you can be married in the Church ```

OH! I just re read your post ~ You are married ~ sorry ``` I'm sure they have classes at that Church ~ be a good idea if he and you took the classes ```

It will be great if he finds his way to the Lord ~ God love you good lady ~ I will ask the lord right now to clear the way for you ~ for you two ~ counting your child ~ for you three ```

seth

Offline IzzyB

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Re: Inquirer of year and feeling unworthy/not allowed to become Orthodox
« Reply #17 on: June 09, 2018, 11:35:47 PM »
The GOA, for better or for worse, requires an Orthodox marriage be performed if one or both members of a couple are received into the Church. Canonically, Orthodox Christians may only marry Orthodox Christians. GOA economia only extends so far that Orthodox Christians may marry other trinitarian Christians, and the same standard is applied to potential converts. Thus your current predicament, which is unfortunately not uncommon. It is not at all about the particular priest, and it's really not in his power to make adjustments without the approval of the bishop. Nevertheless, I agree with Iconodule's sentiments, and I hope something can be worked out for you!
I have cme to realize that with the GOA there really isn't a way around it. As upsetting as it is for me, I have to keep faith and pray that somehow...someway I can join the Church. It is a hard thing to swallow, and it has me feeling unworthy of God. Even my boyfriend tells me that is not true, but it feels that way.
I hate to criticize my own, ahem, "jurisdiction" but I don't see where the issue is with baptizing you if you're chaste and not legally married.

Anyway, fun fact: The OCA goes back to the Russian mission in Alaska, so you actually have valid roots there too. Let's pray things go well with them.
I thought the same about the GOA, but I am not going to nitpick.

Interesting, I have deep roots in the ROC...My father's mother's family has been in the ROC for as far back as we can trace (to 1740 so far)
Lord, I do not know what to ask of You. You know better than me what my needs are. You love more than I know how to love. Help me to see clearly my real needs which I do not see. I open my heart to You. Examine and reveal to me my faults and sins. I put all trust in You. I have no other desire than to fulfill Your will. Teach me how to pray. Pray in me. Amen.

Offline IzzyB

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Re: Inquirer of year and feeling unworthy/not allowed to become Orthodox
« Reply #18 on: June 09, 2018, 11:38:08 PM »
Well Izzy ~ He has to be introduced into our Faith and The Lord ``` If he believes The God he will be baptized ~ you can't marry someone who in not a Christian ~ it will cause such trouble later ```

You've been together 6 years ~ together ~ well ~ It's time he got it together ~ so you can be married in the Church ```

OH! I just re read your post ~ You are married ~ sorry ``` I'm sure they have classes at that Church ~ be a good idea if he and you took the classes ```

It will be great if he finds his way to the Lord ~ God love you good lady ~ I will ask the lord right now to clear the way for you ~ for you two ~ counting your child ~ for you three ```

seth
My Boyfriend and I are not married, but I was previously married.
Lord, I do not know what to ask of You. You know better than me what my needs are. You love more than I know how to love. Help me to see clearly my real needs which I do not see. I open my heart to You. Examine and reveal to me my faults and sins. I put all trust in You. I have no other desire than to fulfill Your will. Teach me how to pray. Pray in me. Amen.

Offline Sethrak

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Re: Inquirer of year and feeling unworthy/not allowed to become Orthodox
« Reply #19 on: June 10, 2018, 12:06:49 AM »
I'm sorry I skimmed when I should have taken the time to read completely ~ forgive my laziness ```

He must accept Christ as the Lord ~ or you are spending your life ~ and one day this will be a very big problem ``` Marriage in the Church is a Sacrament ~ like the Priesthood ```

You need to talk with him ~ don't nag of course ~ let him see this is a big one ~ how important it is to you ~ and you will be praying for him as will others ~ the folks here will join you in this ```

Get some instructions ~ do it together ```

God be with you sister ```

seth

« Last Edit: June 10, 2018, 12:08:55 AM by Sethrak »

Offline Sethrak

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Re: Inquirer of year and feeling unworthy/not allowed to become Orthodox
« Reply #20 on: June 10, 2018, 12:23:27 AM »
I just read your post ~ every word ~ Do have you child baptized ~ you do attend Church I hope ~ that is no problem you don't have be a member ~ then when this man loves the Lord as you do ~ he can be baptized ~ yes ~ it would be great if it can be a family baptism ~ maybe God Willing it will be ```


This is exciting rather than worrisome ~ he sounds like a good man ~ I'm sure he will be receptive and willing to learn and love the Lord ```

I'm glad you came here with this ~ I know the people here will join with you in this ~ and ~ the Good Lord does listen ~ more so when we gather together ```

seth

Offline IzzyB

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Re: Inquirer of year and feeling unworthy/not allowed to become Orthodox
« Reply #21 on: June 10, 2018, 12:45:05 AM »
I just read your post ~ every word ~ Do have you child baptized ~ you do attend Church I hope ~ that is no problem you don't have be a member ~ then when this man loves the Lord as you do ~ he can be baptized ~ yes ~ it would be great if it can be a family baptism ~ maybe God Willing it will be ```


This is exciting rather than worrisome ~ he sounds like a good man ~ I'm sure he will be receptive and willing to learn and love the Lord ```

I'm glad you came here with this ~ I know the people here will join with you in this ~ and ~ the Good Lord does listen ~ more so when we gather together ```

seth
My son is not baptized yet. The GOA parish wanted us to do a family baptism. I was pushing for him to be baptized separately, as he has many medical conditions that unfortunately could take him from me without notice. The Fr. Still insisted in a family baptism.

We do attend, the only time we don’t is during flu outbreaks as my son has no immune system.

He is a very good man, very kind, respectful and patient. I do believe the Lord brought he and I together. So I could witness to him the love of Christ and he to bring me everything I was robbed of.
Lord, I do not know what to ask of You. You know better than me what my needs are. You love more than I know how to love. Help me to see clearly my real needs which I do not see. I open my heart to You. Examine and reveal to me my faults and sins. I put all trust in You. I have no other desire than to fulfill Your will. Teach me how to pray. Pray in me. Amen.

Offline Sethrak

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Re: Inquirer of year and feeling unworthy/not allowed to become Orthodox
« Reply #22 on: June 10, 2018, 12:59:31 AM »

Quote izzy: He is a very good man, very kind, respectful and patient. I do believe the Lord brought he and I together. So I could witness to him the love of Christ and he to bring me everything I was robbed of.

You may be right in your thinking ~ it will be good to watch the work of the Lord ```


Please keep with us so we can be a part with you ``` Bless you all ```

seth



Offline IzzyB

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Re: Inquirer of year and feeling unworthy/not allowed to become Orthodox
« Reply #23 on: June 10, 2018, 01:19:37 AM »

Quote izzy: He is a very good man, very kind, respectful and patient. I do believe the Lord brought he and I together. So I could witness to him the love of Christ and he to bring me everything I was robbed of.

You may be right in your thinking ~ it will be good to watch the work of the Lord ```


Please keep with us so we can be a part with you ``` Bless you all ```

seth
Will do!
Lord, I do not know what to ask of You. You know better than me what my needs are. You love more than I know how to love. Help me to see clearly my real needs which I do not see. I open my heart to You. Examine and reveal to me my faults and sins. I put all trust in You. I have no other desire than to fulfill Your will. Teach me how to pray. Pray in me. Amen.

Offline Tzimis

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Re: Inquirer of year and feeling unworthy/not allowed to become Orthodox
« Reply #24 on: June 10, 2018, 02:22:03 AM »
I can see why the preist is putting you on the spot. You are technically living in sin. Your choice is either to leave this man or commit to a life together with him but, this man isn't ready to commit. Then throw in the conversion and its even more difficult for him to commit.  Your choice is basically him or the church.  That is not easy to answer.  Only you can weigh it and find a resolution.  You could have lied to the priest and told him you are a single mom. Not saying its the rigjt thing to do but, If you and your child became Orthodox maybe at a later date your cohabitor might make the move. Since you let the cat out of the bag already.  It makes thing more difficult. 
The best outcome now is to convince your BF to get baptized and married. I know its difficult but women have ways to convince a man. Just think like eve in the garden.  I know im about to give some bad advise but you could cut him off. You know what I mean. If he really cares for you that much he might bite. If not you would have to really think about if this man is really in the relationship to the same extent as you are.
What ever you choose. Lord have mercy!

Offline IzzyB

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Re: Inquirer of year and feeling unworthy/not allowed to become Orthodox
« Reply #25 on: June 10, 2018, 11:38:42 AM »
I can see why the preist is putting you on the spot. You are technically living in sin. Your choice is either to leave this man or commit to a life together with him but, this man isn't ready to commit. Then throw in the conversion and its even more difficult for him to commit.  Your choice is basically him or the church.  That is not easy to answer.  Only you can weigh it and find a resolution.  You could have lied to the priest and told him you are a single mom. Not saying its the rigjt thing to do but, If you and your child became Orthodox maybe at a later date your cohabitor might make the move. Since you let the cat out of the bag already.  It makes thing more difficult. 
The best outcome now is to convince your BF to get baptized and married. I know its difficult but women have ways to convince a man. Just think like eve in the garden.  I know im about to give some bad advise but you could cut him off. You know what I mean. If he really cares for you that much he might bite. If not you would have to really think about if this man is really in the relationship to the same extent as you are.
What ever you choose. Lord have mercy!
We do plan on getting married, like I said above it’s just me waiting on the proposal. He understands that this is important to me he has said he cannot get baptized and convert until he is ready. I don’t understand what you mean by cut him off? If you mean with sex, we already don’t because of my abuse in the past. He has never pressured me to do it either.

Lying to the Church was never an option for me, even if it would have made things easier it is wrong.

I will be meeting with the Archbpriest of a local OCA next week to talk.
Lord, I do not know what to ask of You. You know better than me what my needs are. You love more than I know how to love. Help me to see clearly my real needs which I do not see. I open my heart to You. Examine and reveal to me my faults and sins. I put all trust in You. I have no other desire than to fulfill Your will. Teach me how to pray. Pray in me. Amen.

Offline Sethrak

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Re: Inquirer of year and feeling unworthy/not allowed to become Orthodox
« Reply #26 on: June 10, 2018, 01:21:57 PM »
Sounds good ~ that's what I understood you to say ~ that you were not living as husband and wife ```Brother Tzimis is looking at this as if from the Priests standpoint ~ saying ~ the boyfriend should ether ~  fish or cut bait ~ and you need to let him know the boat is on the way to fishing grounds with or without him ~ that's kinda what I'm saying too ~ we will pray with you that your bf does his job or gets off the pot ~ please excuse my phrases of expression ```

I think this can come out well and for the best ~ once a good man knows ~ you together with the community Orthodox brothers and sisters are in prayer for you being welcomed into the Church and how important it is to you ~ will want to join with you in the Light of God's Grace ```

I would decide on a realistic date together with the Priest that is acceptable to all ~ keeping in mind your child's vulnerable health he should be Baptized for his protection ```

Yours in Christ

seth

Offline Ainnir

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Re: Inquirer of year and feeling unworthy/not allowed to become Orthodox
« Reply #27 on: June 10, 2018, 02:11:50 PM »
I will be meeting with the Archbpriest of a local OCA next week to talk.

Izzy, that's great news!  I hope something reassuring comes of it.  You are right not to have lied.
Is any of the above Orthodox?  I have no clue, so there's that.

Offline Sharbel

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Re: Inquirer of year and feeling unworthy/not allowed to become Orthodox
« Reply #28 on: June 10, 2018, 03:29:34 PM »
Six years in and no proposal yet?  Sister, why do you think that he's taking so long?

Quirks aside, perhaps it's time to wait a little.  There's no need to put off your conversion while you wait for the aforesaid proposal.  Go to church together or, in the beginning, without him.  Let you and your loved ones be touched by God in His Church and he'll stir your hearts to the best solution.

Lord, have mercy.
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Offline Sethrak

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Re: Inquirer of year and feeling unworthy/not allowed to become Orthodox
« Reply #29 on: June 10, 2018, 04:08:00 PM »
Aabo Sharbel ~ very good council ```

Offline IzzyB

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Re: Inquirer of year and feeling unworthy/not allowed to become Orthodox
« Reply #30 on: June 10, 2018, 04:08:38 PM »
Six years in and no proposal yet?  Sister, why do you think that he's taking so long?

Quirks aside, perhaps it's time to wait a little.  There's no need to put off your conversion while you wait for the aforesaid proposal.  Go to church together or, in the beginning, without him.  Let you and your loved ones be touched by God in His Church and he'll stir your hearts to the best solution.

Lord, have mercy.
I’ve asked and he is afraid of divorce. Me coming from the situation I did made him want to wait and “make sure we were compatible”. In the beginning I was fine with it as I was so broken inside and felt lost on my path with God. Now that I am healing I am seeing it was foolish of me. He comes from a non-religious family that both parents had marriages previous to each other.

I do attend without him, this year he says he will come to major church feasts with us to start learning. My son and I fast every Wednesday and Friday plus all major fasting periods. He does too as I am the cook of the home.
Lord, I do not know what to ask of You. You know better than me what my needs are. You love more than I know how to love. Help me to see clearly my real needs which I do not see. I open my heart to You. Examine and reveal to me my faults and sins. I put all trust in You. I have no other desire than to fulfill Your will. Teach me how to pray. Pray in me. Amen.

Offline Sharbel

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Re: Inquirer of year and feeling unworthy/not allowed to become Orthodox
« Reply #31 on: June 10, 2018, 04:15:41 PM »
I’ve asked and he is afraid of divorce. Me coming from the situation I did made him want to wait and “make sure we were compatible”. In the beginning I was fine with it as I was so broken inside and felt lost on my path with God. Now that I am healing I am seeing it was foolish of me. He comes from a non-religious family that both parents had marriages previous to each other.

No, it was not foolish of you.  You have the right instincts and you should not neglect them.

Quote
I do attend without him, this year he says he will come to major church feasts with us to start learning. My son and I fast every Wednesday and Friday plus all major fasting periods. He does too as I am the cook of the home.

Praised be God!  The major feast of the Apostles Peter and Paul is right around the corner, it might be the beginning of a great relationship.  Surely he wouldn't object coming to a parish festival or dinner, would he?
« Last Edit: June 10, 2018, 04:17:56 PM by Sharbel »
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Offline IzzyB

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Re: Inquirer of year and feeling unworthy/not allowed to become Orthodox
« Reply #32 on: June 10, 2018, 04:22:42 PM »
I do attend without him, this year he says he will come to major church feasts with us to start learning. My son and I fast every Wednesday and Friday plus all major fasting periods. He does too as I am the cook of the home.

Praised be God!  The major feast of the Apostles Peter and Paul is right around the corner, it might be the beginning of a great relationship.  Surely he wouldn't object coming to a parish festival or dinner, would he?
No he wouldn’t. Last year he went to the annual Greek Festival at the parish. He is very supportive of our Faith, he is just lost in his path. Growing up with no religion has left him unprepared and now at 31 he is trying to open himself up to things he knows nothing of.

I have faith that in time he will join the church.

But I just didn’t think myself and my son’s journey would need to wait for him.
Lord, I do not know what to ask of You. You know better than me what my needs are. You love more than I know how to love. Help me to see clearly my real needs which I do not see. I open my heart to You. Examine and reveal to me my faults and sins. I put all trust in You. I have no other desire than to fulfill Your will. Teach me how to pray. Pray in me. Amen.

Offline Sharbel

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Re: Inquirer of year and feeling unworthy/not allowed to become Orthodox
« Reply #33 on: June 10, 2018, 04:32:01 PM »
But I just didn’t think myself and my son’s journey would need to wait for him.

All in God's time.  After all, He calls, He provides the ways and means.  Trust Him.

Lord, have mercy.
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Offline IzzyB

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Re: Inquirer of year and feeling unworthy/not allowed to become Orthodox
« Reply #34 on: June 10, 2018, 09:48:16 PM »
But I just didn’t think myself and my son’s journey would need to wait for him.

All in God's time.  After all, He calls, He provides the ways and means.  Trust Him.

Lord, have mercy.
Very true! Thank you for your wise words!
Lord, I do not know what to ask of You. You know better than me what my needs are. You love more than I know how to love. Help me to see clearly my real needs which I do not see. I open my heart to You. Examine and reveal to me my faults and sins. I put all trust in You. I have no other desire than to fulfill Your will. Teach me how to pray. Pray in me. Amen.

Offline Fr. George

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Re: Inquirer of year and feeling unworthy/not allowed to become Orthodox
« Reply #35 on: June 12, 2018, 09:42:12 AM »
IzzyB: We should find you a priest close-by to talk to about this.  All of us mean well enough on here, but (a) we can't be more helpful without more info, and (b) you shouldn't share more info on the forum than you already have.

I'll PM you to help find someone close-by and make an introduction (if I can).
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Offline IzzyB

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Re: Inquirer of year and feeling unworthy/not allowed to become Orthodox
« Reply #36 on: June 12, 2018, 11:45:24 AM »
IzzyB: We should find you a priest close-by to talk to about this.  All of us mean well enough on here, but (a) we can't be more helpful without more info, and (b) you shouldn't share more info on the forum than you already have.

I'll PM you to help find someone close-by and make an introduction (if I can).

I have replied to your message, thank you so much.
Lord, I do not know what to ask of You. You know better than me what my needs are. You love more than I know how to love. Help me to see clearly my real needs which I do not see. I open my heart to You. Examine and reveal to me my faults and sins. I put all trust in You. I have no other desire than to fulfill Your will. Teach me how to pray. Pray in me. Amen.

Offline IzzyB

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Re: Inquirer of year and feeling unworthy/not allowed to become Orthodox
« Reply #37 on: June 13, 2018, 06:52:47 PM »
Met with Fr. Michael of the OCA parish and I am feeling... renewed!
We are being welcomed to Liturgy. He suggested a book to read.. which I had with me (How funny) The Orthodox Church- Kallistos Ware. I had read it a year ago but will read it again and he said to come and ask all the questions I have.

I had much cleared up to me and I feel I am still where I need to be, where God is directing me to.

If anyone has any other book suggestion I would be happy to hear them
Lord, I do not know what to ask of You. You know better than me what my needs are. You love more than I know how to love. Help me to see clearly my real needs which I do not see. I open my heart to You. Examine and reveal to me my faults and sins. I put all trust in You. I have no other desire than to fulfill Your will. Teach me how to pray. Pray in me. Amen.

Offline Antonis

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Re: Inquirer of year and feeling unworthy/not allowed to become Orthodox
« Reply #38 on: June 13, 2018, 07:02:49 PM »
Glory to God!
"Verily they that seek Thee, Lord, and keep the canons of Thy Holy Church shall never want any good thing.”
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