Author Topic: Strugling with my sins  (Read 416 times)

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Offline razvanciurescu

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Strugling with my sins
« on: June 02, 2018, 03:59:08 AM »
Hi!I am fighting with my sins-masturbation,for many years.Is someone here (maybe a teen like me) to sustain me and give me moral help?

Offline RaphaCam

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Re: Strugling with my sins
« Reply #1 on: June 02, 2018, 04:09:40 AM »
Well, I'm 20, I became an Orthodox catechumen at 17, so I kinda qualify as a teenager. Feel free to call me inbox. Before anything else, however:
  • Spiritual help from a priest is essential to overcome habitual sins.
  • Do not fall into despair or pride. St. Seraphim of Platina asked rhetorically about being fear of confessing sins: "Do you think you're too holy?"
  • The main cause of self-abuse temptations is emotional (not physical) neediness. Strong feelings of loneliness may turn someone into an almost compulsive masturbator, this is a known fact. OTOH, chastity became incredibly easy to me when I first fell in love after conversion because I felt so emotionally nourished. This wasn't perfect and I got too proud, but it reveals a pattern.
« Last Edit: June 02, 2018, 04:12:42 AM by RaphaCam »
"May the Lord our God remember in His kingdom all Holy Catholic Apostolic Church, which heralds the Word of Truth and fearlessly offers and distributes the Holy Oblation despite human deficiencies and persecutions moved by the powers of this world, in all time and unto the ages of ages."

Anyhow when God was asked he said Eastern Orthodox is true Church and not Catholic Church. So come home and enjoy.

Offline Sharbel

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Re: Strugling with my sins
« Reply #2 on: June 08, 2018, 09:46:13 AM »
On this side of heaven we will always have to fight temptations off.  When you fall, dust off and stand up.  Let your heart be contrite and ask God for forgiveness and peace.  Then, go to confession.  Repeat as often as necessary.
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Offline Rubricnigel

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Re: Strugling with my sins
« Reply #3 on: June 08, 2018, 11:16:53 AM »
Hi!I am fighting with my sins-masturbation,for many years.Is someone here (maybe a teen like me) to sustain me and give me moral help?

I assume video material is being used in todays age. Maybe cutting that out will help out.
Lord have mercy

Offline Sharbel

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Re: Strugling with my sins
« Reply #4 on: June 09, 2018, 03:50:06 PM »
I came across the canons of St. John the Faster and meditating on one of them, #8, might help you out:

Quote
8. Anyone having committed masturbation is penanced forty days, during which he must keep himself alive by xerophagy and must do one hundred metanies every day.

Interpretation.

The present Canon decrees that anyone who is guilty of masturbating at any time is obliged to refrain from communing for forty days straight, passing these with xerophagy, or, more explicitly speaking, with only bread and water, and doing every day metanies to the number of one hundred each time. As concerning masturbators and fornicators, St. Meletius the Confessor asserts that they are making a sacrifice of their semen to the Devil, which semen is the most precious part of their body.

PS: in no way should you take on these penitential acts on your own without talking to a priest before; just in a way of illustrating the seriousness of this sin, both in how serious it is ("sacrifice to the devil") and how it is not the end of the world (just 40 days abstaining from Communion).
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Offline ComingofAge

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Re: Strugling with my sins
« Reply #5 on: June 09, 2018, 03:54:31 PM »
Hello dear friend, I can totally understand where you are coming from! I have struggled with similar sins.

Unfortunately, this life is a constant struggle, sometimes it seems like there is literally no end...at times, spiritual life can seem almost impossible. However, we have to keep struggling, we have to keep fighting, we have to keep turning to repentance again and again.

Fall down, get up, fall down, get up, fall down, get up. Yes, at times it can seem agonizing, but no matter how hard it gets...just stay in the fight! It will get better...and then it will get worse...and better again and worse, such is the ebb and flow.

You see, you have chosen to be a part of God's kingdom, which means you now have a target on your back. Worldly-minded individuals don't have to worry about this because well, the enemy has already won. The worldly-minded man has given up the fight, he has surrendered, so there is no question of spiritual struggle. However, for you and I and all of us who continue to stay in this fight...struggle is our way of life. Even our Lord and Savior struggled! If He struggled, how much more will you?

Struggle creates humility and also strength. This is against the way of the world...the world says, no, be proud and then you will be strong! But this is not true. Strength and honor comes through humility...it comes through constantly falling and getting back up again. This is the great, continuous fight.

You see the world wants what's easy, they want the most struggle-free path. But this is not the way of the Christian...we are called to carry our cross daily, this means daily dying to self. This is hard to do in our post-modern society, but it is not impossible if proper praxis is performed alongside grace (synergy).

The Church has given us the means to fight sin, fasting, prayer almsgiving. Also, a relationship with a spiritual father, attending Divine services...oh and don't forget the Sacraments! Regular confession and partaking of the Eucharist are essential, we could dive into that, but I digress.

The bottom line...keep up the fight. The fact that you are even fighting at all is a good sign. You are young, therefore I suppose you are healthy and strong, now is the best time to start fighting!

Endure until the end my brother...the struggle is not in vain!
Let us open our mouths and sing hymns of salvation. Come and fall down in the house of the Lord and say: Pardon our sins, you who hung upon the cross and rose from the dead, and yet are forever in the bosom of the Father.

+ Glory to the Father and to the Son and to the Holy Spirit, now and ever and unto the ages of ages. Amen. +

Offline ComingofAge

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Re: Strugling with my sins
« Reply #6 on: June 09, 2018, 04:06:13 PM »
A little word of encouragement here for you as well:

http://www.pantanassamonastery.org/the-secret-to-obtaining-the-grace-of-god-.html

THE SECRET TO OBTAINING THE GRACE OF GOD

In the struggle for Christian virtue it is easy to lose hope and to stop struggling. Many a times do we say, ‘It’s just too hard!’ In today’s spiritual counsel Abba Zosimas reminds us that there comes a time in the spiritual struggle when we will be able to accomplish all good things without difficulty and toil. This is what Abba Zosimas has to say;

 

The Grace of God always follows close on our intentions and that with the help of Grace we succeed in accomplishing every good thing; yet we do not seek to make a start on doing good, nor do we display a great and eager intention to attract the Grace of God to help us. If we ever do manifest some intention to do good, this intention is paltry and sluggish and does not make us worthy to receive any good from God. Do we not know that all of our spiritual endeavours are reminiscent of a seed and the fruit that it bears? It is like the farmer who sows seeds on his land, but later awaits the mercy of God; God then proceeds to send His bounty with rains and favourable winds at the appropriate time, so that the seeds which the farmer threw into the earth may sprout, grow, and come to perfection. In this way, God helps him to gain many crops from a few seeds.

 

The same thing happens to us, too. Insofar as we sow an intention that is rich and generous in good deeds, then we shall find the Grace from God whereby we will henceforth be able to accomplish all good things without difficulty and toil. We see the same thing happen in the case of skills. He who comes to learn a skill toils at the beginning and experiences failure, and often comes close to despair; in spite of all this, however, he does not lose his resolve, nor is he discouraged, but he tries once more. However often he fails, at least as often he also seeks to correct himself, showing his good intention to the expert. For if he loses heart and withdraws, he will not learn anything; on the contrary, he will only become accustomed gradually to the skill and learn it perfectly when he displays patience and works with exertion and persistence, being corrected by the expert whenever he makes a mistake. After he has learned the skill well, then he performs his work with ease, so as to gain his livelihood from it.

 

He who wishes to attain some virtue should act in this way; that is, at the outset he should arm himself with bravery and show great resolve, and then should continue patiently doing what is good, ever calling on God to help and defend him. He should not be indifferent when he fails, or despair and abandon the attempt, because in that case he will never be able to accomplish anything good. He should get up, whenever he happens to fall, and increase his zeal through hope, awaiting God's mercy with patience.

 

This is what Abba Moses had to say:

 

"The strength of those who wish to acquire the virtues is as follows: if they fall, let them not lose their courage, but let them be sure to make a new beginning at their endeavor. Insofar, then, as we put all our energy into practicing the virtues, let us await the Lord, showing Him a generous resolve and calling on His aid; and without fail He will strengthen us with His mercy and bestow His Grace on us in abundance, in which case we will accomplish every good easily and without exertion."
Let us open our mouths and sing hymns of salvation. Come and fall down in the house of the Lord and say: Pardon our sins, you who hung upon the cross and rose from the dead, and yet are forever in the bosom of the Father.

+ Glory to the Father and to the Son and to the Holy Spirit, now and ever and unto the ages of ages. Amen. +

Offline Tzimis

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Re: Strugling with my sins
« Reply #7 on: June 09, 2018, 04:20:49 PM »
Find yourself a wife. This way you can get the real thing and stop watching porn. Your expectations we be set to high.

Offline Sharbel

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Re: Strugling with my sins
« Reply #8 on: June 09, 2018, 04:22:51 PM »
Find yourself a wife. This way you can get the real thing and stop watching porn. Your expectations we be set to high.
News flash: marriage does not cure porn or masturbation addictions.
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Offline Tzimis

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Re: Strugling with my sins
« Reply #9 on: June 09, 2018, 04:47:46 PM »
Find yourself a wife. This way you can get the real thing and stop watching porn. Your expectations we be set to high.
News flash: marriage does not cure porn or masturbation addictions.
It will relieve a lot of built up frustration.  I remember when I was in my teens and twenties and I had a very high sex drive. I married young and It helped alot.  I still chase the wife around the house and im almost 50. Higher sex drive in some is normal.  At least I think so. One must put it to good use though.  As people age the bodies hormones change as well and thing do eventually subside. I hope I won't see it till my eighties.

Offline recent convert

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Re: Strugling with my sins
« Reply #10 on: June 09, 2018, 06:07:01 PM »
In my 50s and still struggling. Things to consider are prayers for people being sexually exploited, prayers for exploited & abuse d children, develop a simple commitment to faith & works of whatever alms you can give. Prayers for the victimized, proactive works in faith, simple desire to not harm another ( in the context of general consensual, adult sex hopefully nothing more). This has to be fought  in penitence and proactively.
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Offline augustin717

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Re: Strugling with my sins
« Reply #11 on: June 09, 2018, 06:21:37 PM »
I came across the canons of St. John the Faster and meditating on one of them, #8, might help you out:

Quote
8. Anyone having committed masturbation is penanced forty days, during which he must keep himself alive by xerophagy and must do one hundred metanies every day.

Interpretation.

The present Canon decrees that anyone who is guilty of masturbating at any time is obliged to refrain from communing for forty days straight, passing these with xerophagy, or, more explicitly speaking, with only bread and water, and doing every day metanies to the number of one hundred each time. As concerning masturbators and fornicators, St. Meletius the Confessor asserts that they are making a sacrifice of their semen to the Devil, which semen is the most precious part of their body.

PS: in no way should you take on these penitential acts on your own without talking to a priest before; just in a way of illustrating the seriousness of this sin, both in how serious it is ("sacrifice to the devil") and how it is not the end of the world (just 40 days abstaining from Communion).
the question that arises is : is someone t
Robbing God of that sacrifice of the most precious bodily fluid?
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Offline LivenotoneviL

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Re: Strugling with my sins
« Reply #12 on: June 23, 2018, 12:19:18 PM »
Welcome to Orthodoxy.

From Book 2, Chapter 2 of Saint Gregory's Dialogues, on Saint Benedict's life.

"On a certain day being alone, the tempter was at hand: for a little black bird, commonly called a merle or an ousel, began to fly about his face, and that so near as the holy man, if he would, might have taken it with his hand: but after he had blessed himself with the sign of the cross, the bird flew away: and forthwith the holy man was assaulted with such a terrible temptation of the flesh, as he never felt the like in all his life.

A certain woman there was which some time he had seen, the memory of which the wicked spirit put into his mind, and by the representation of her so mightily inflamed with concupiscence the soul of God's servant, which so increased that, almost overcome with pleasure, he was of mind to have forsaken the wilderness. But, suddenly assisted with God's grace, he came to himself; and seeing many thick briers and nettle bushes to grow hard by, off he cast his apparel, and threw himself into the midst of them, and there wallowed so long that, when he rose up, all his flesh was pitifully torn. So, by the wounds of his body, he cured the wounds of his soul, in that he turned pleasure into pain, and by the outward burning of extreme smart, quenched that fire which, being nourished before with the fuel of carnal cogitations, inwardly burned in his soul: and by this means he overcame the sin, because he made a change of the fire.

From which time forward, as himself afterward reported to his disciples, he found all temptation of pleasure so subdued, that he never felt any such thing. Many after this began to abandon the world, and to become his scholars. For being now freed from the vice of temptation, worthily and with great reason is he made a master of virtue: for which cause, in Exodus, commandment is given by Moses that the Levites from twenty-five years and upward should serve, but, after they came to fifty, that they should be ordained keepers of the holy vessels. [Numbers 8:24-26]

PETER: Somewhat I understand of this testimony alleged: but yet I beseech you to tell me the meaning thereof more fully.
GREGORY: It is plain, Peter, that in youth the temptation of the flesh is hot: but after fifty years the heat of the body waxes cold, and the souls of faithful people become holy vessels. Wherefore necessary it is that God's elect servants, whiles they are yet in the heat of temptation, should live in obedience, serve, and be wearied with labor and pains. But when, by reason of age, the heat of temptation is past, they become keepers of holy vessels; because they then are made the doctors of men's souls.
PETER: I cannot deny, but that your words have given me full satisfaction: wherefore, seeing you have now expounded the meaning of the former text alleged, prosecute, I pray, as you have begun, the rest of the holy man's life."
« Last Edit: June 23, 2018, 12:21:12 PM by LivenotoneviL »
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Offline Orthodox_Slav

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Re: Strugling with my sins
« Reply #13 on: June 23, 2018, 12:30:47 PM »
Welcome to Orthodoxy.

From Book 2, Chapter 2 of Saint Gregory's Dialogues, on Saint Benedict's life.

"On a certain day being alone, the tempter was at hand: for a little black bird, commonly called a merle or an ousel, began to fly about his face, and that so near as the holy man, if he would, might have taken it with his hand: but after he had blessed himself with the sign of the cross, the bird flew away: and forthwith the holy man was assaulted with such a terrible temptation of the flesh, as he never felt the like in all his life.

A certain woman there was which some time he had seen, the memory of which the wicked spirit put into his mind, and by the representation of her so mightily inflamed with concupiscence the soul of God's servant, which so increased that, almost overcome with pleasure, he was of mind to have forsaken the wilderness. But, suddenly assisted with God's grace, he came to himself; and seeing many thick briers and nettle bushes to grow hard by, off he cast his apparel, and threw himself into the midst of them, and there wallowed so long that, when he rose up, all his flesh was pitifully torn. So, by the wounds of his body, he cured the wounds of his soul, in that he turned pleasure into pain, and by the outward burning of extreme smart, quenched that fire which, being nourished before with the fuel of carnal cogitations, inwardly burned in his soul: and by this means he overcame the sin, because he made a change of the fire.

From which time forward, as himself afterward reported to his disciples, he found all temptation of pleasure so subdued, that he never felt any such thing. Many after this began to abandon the world, and to become his scholars. For being now freed from the vice of temptation, worthily and with great reason is he made a master of virtue: for which cause, in Exodus, commandment is given by Moses that the Levites from twenty-five years and upward should serve, but, after they came to fifty, that they should be ordained keepers of the holy vessels. [Numbers 8:24-26]

PETER: Somewhat I understand of this testimony alleged: but yet I beseech you to tell me the meaning thereof more fully.
GREGORY: It is plain, Peter, that in youth the temptation of the flesh is hot: but after fifty years the heat of the body waxes cold, and the souls of faithful people become holy vessels. Wherefore necessary it is that God's elect servants, whiles they are yet in the heat of temptation, should live in obedience, serve, and be wearied with labor and pains. But when, by reason of age, the heat of temptation is past, they become keepers of holy vessels; because they then are made the doctors of men's souls.
PETER: I cannot deny, but that your words have given me full satisfaction: wherefore, seeing you have now expounded the meaning of the former text alleged, prosecute, I pray, as you have begun, the rest of the holy man's life."

what a holy man!
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Offline Vanhyo

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Re: Strugling with my sins
« Reply #14 on: Today at 02:16:03 AM »
Hi!I am fighting with my sins-masturbation,for many years.Is someone here (maybe a teen like me) to sustain me and give me moral help?
Sure, let me help you.

Are you aware that all of heaven, is seeing all your works, so whatever you do, you do so infront of the saints, the martyrs the angels and before God.

So before you start doing anything, remember that they are seeing you and if whatever you do is not good and even shameful, then stop.
« Last Edit: Today at 02:19:31 AM by Vanhyo »

Offline Orthodox_Slav

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Re: Strugling with my sins
« Reply #15 on: Today at 04:18:17 AM »
Hi!I am fighting with my sins-masturbation,for many years.Is someone here (maybe a teen like me) to sustain me and give me moral help?
Sure, let me help you.

Are you aware that all of heaven, is seeing all your works, so whatever you do, you do so infront of the saints, the martyrs the angels and before God.

So before you start doing anything, remember that they are seeing you and if whatever you do is not good and even shameful, then stop.

Yeah I need to think about that more!.
not every quiet man is humble but every humble man is quiet         st Isaac the Syrian