Author Topic: The "Universal Orthodox Church"  (Read 9545 times)

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Offline RaphaCam

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Re: The "Universal Orthodox Church"
« Reply #90 on: July 13, 2018, 11:38:22 PM »
You gotta go iron like a lion in Zion, Archbro!
"May the Lord our God remember in His kingdom all Holy Catholic Apostolic Church, which heralds the Word of Truth and fearlessly offers and distributes the Holy Oblation despite human deficiencies and persecutions moved by the powers of this world, in all time and unto the ages of ages."

May the Blessed Light shine Forth

Offline Iconodule

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Re: The "Universal Orthodox Church"
« Reply #91 on: July 16, 2018, 12:53:12 PM »
The mission to Westmoreland Parrish then and continuing later was to bring back the Balm of Gilead filled Condoms secreted in the digestive tract. The first Healing for this Ministry was for the wife of Kenny Whitener of Illinois... my successfull missionary trip of bringing back a gutload of Jamaican Hash Oil.

Gross.
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When a time revolts against eternity, the only thing to set against it is genuine eternity itself, and not some other time which has already roused, and not without reason, a violent reaction against itself.
- Berdyaev

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Offline Agabus

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Re: The "Universal Orthodox Church"
« Reply #92 on: July 16, 2018, 02:16:48 PM »
The mission to Westmoreland Parrish then and continuing later was to bring back the Balm of Gilead filled Condoms secreted in the digestive tract.
Wut?  :o

Did the good archbishop just admit to smuggling drugs into the country, drugs he later recovered by defecating a prophylactic?

Quote
The first Healing for this Ministry was for the wife of Kenny Whitener of Illinois.
Did she know she was being anointed with poop oil?
Blessed Nazarius practiced the ascetic life. His clothes were tattered. He wore his shoes without removing them for six years.

THE OPINIONS HERE MAY NOT REFLECT THE ACTUAL OR PERCEIVED ORTHODOX CHURCH

Take a breath, read Ecclesiastes 1:9.

Online Mor Ephrem

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Re: The "Universal Orthodox Church"
« Reply #93 on: July 16, 2018, 03:43:53 PM »
The first Healing for this Ministry was for the wife of Kenny Whitener of Illinois.
Did she know she was being anointed with poop oil?

Probably when she realized she was less Whitened.

Offline Brilko

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Re: The "Universal Orthodox Church"
« Reply #94 on: July 16, 2018, 05:09:43 PM »
AD 381 by Charles Freeman. The Council of Constantinople AD 381 wasn't Published. The "Eternal" or Son from Eternity inserted into the Nicene Creed is a FRAUD. In John, for God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten Son. In Psalm 2, I will tell of the decree on this day... begotten

So, LSD?

Maybe, but more likely weed:

http://www.universalorthodox.org/

Look at the sidebar on the right.  :P

Maybe the deeper practices are reserved for the elect.

Online Rubricnigel

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Re: The "Universal Orthodox Church"
« Reply #95 on: July 16, 2018, 05:56:09 PM »
Did this guy just admit to smuggling hash oil from Jamaica into the USA?


Offline Iconodule

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Re: The "Universal Orthodox Church"
« Reply #96 on: July 16, 2018, 07:20:27 PM »
In his butt, no less.
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When a time revolts against eternity, the only thing to set against it is genuine eternity itself, and not some other time which has already roused, and not without reason, a violent reaction against itself.
- Berdyaev

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Offline hecma925

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Re: The "Universal Orthodox Church"
« Reply #97 on: July 16, 2018, 08:03:34 PM »
In his butt, no less.

Through his butt.
Happy shall he be, that shall take and dash thy little ones against the rock. Alleluia.

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Offline Agabus

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Re: The "Universal Orthodox Church"
« Reply #98 on: July 17, 2018, 12:42:46 AM »
In his butt, no less.

Through his butt.

We don't anoint with the butt, we anoint through the butt.

Who needs an alabaster box for the Balm of Gilead anyway?
Blessed Nazarius practiced the ascetic life. His clothes were tattered. He wore his shoes without removing them for six years.

THE OPINIONS HERE MAY NOT REFLECT THE ACTUAL OR PERCEIVED ORTHODOX CHURCH

Take a breath, read Ecclesiastes 1:9.

Offline Alpha60

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Re: The "Universal Orthodox Church"
« Reply #99 on: July 17, 2018, 01:25:08 AM »
In his butt, no less.

Through his butt.

We don't anoint with the butt, we anoint through the butt.

Who needs an alabaster box for the Balm of Gilead anyway?

This thread should perhaps be merged with the thread concerning the astronomical theory that the passage through the seventh planet, which is named for the mythical father of Saturn, of a foreign object  resulted in aforesaid planet, the name of which is highly pertinent to this thread, being tilted 90 degrees out of alignment with the inner planets and the other three gas giants in the Solar System.
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Offline Jackson02

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Re: The "Universal Orthodox Church"
« Reply #100 on: July 17, 2018, 06:18:55 PM »
This thread just got weird.

Offline biro

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Re: The "Universal Orthodox Church"
« Reply #101 on: July 17, 2018, 06:30:28 PM »
Just got?
https://archiveofourown.org/users/Parakeetist


Warning: stories have mature content.

Offline RaphaCam

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Re: The "Universal Orthodox Church"
« Reply #102 on: July 18, 2018, 12:57:00 AM »
In his butt, no less.

Through his butt.

We don't anoint with the butt, we anoint through the butt.

Who needs an alabaster box for the Balm of Gilead anyway?

This thread should perhaps be merged with the thread concerning the astronomical theory that the passage through the seventh planet, which is named for the mythical father of Saturn, of a foreign object  resulted in aforesaid planet, the name of which is highly pertinent to this thread, being tilted 90 degrees out of alignment with the inner planets and the other three gas giants in the Solar System.
:laugh:
"May the Lord our God remember in His kingdom all Holy Catholic Apostolic Church, which heralds the Word of Truth and fearlessly offers and distributes the Holy Oblation despite human deficiencies and persecutions moved by the powers of this world, in all time and unto the ages of ages."

May the Blessed Light shine Forth