Thank Branthony, biro, mabsoota, yeshuaisiam, stavros_388 and Opus118.
I talked to her on Friday at the library counter where she worked. For the first half hour she seems interested in conversation, but then she seems not so interested and was using her cell phone.
i first talked to her about Beauty and the Beast, the Disney movie she likes. I tried to show her that I have knowledge in this subject by telling her I know the original plot of the story which dated hundred years ago. "You missed a part. The reason that Beauty likes the beast is not because he gives her beautiful clothes and jewelry," she told me that the reason she brought up the subject because she thought that "I always think girls like guys who [have handsome physical appearance] but the reason why the Beauty likes the Beast is because of his compassion."
She has only one parent who is Greek. And she told me that she is at a stage where she questions about her Orthodox beliefs and Church traditions. She has interests in Buddhism and evolution. I told her Christians also constantly meditate on themselves, and meditative practices are fine as long they have benefits and purely technical within the medical and psychological realms of sciences. I also told her Darwin was definitely a person who has religious thoughts despite of not going to church in the late of his life. I stated that there are some understandings from evolution are acceptable such as the mutation of genes and the adaptation of environment by species. Nevertheless, I said that there are always differences between truths and theories. The theories are always being understood as the ways humans perceiving the truths, but they are constantly being modified and challenged. But at the end, the understanding of Bible and truths can always be aligned perfectly together, when truths are being understood correctly through theories.
Although she told me that I have good understandings, I thought she probably still in disagreement with me. "I am into Buddhism," She said. I told her that "there is a Russian scientist [Dobzhansky] who believes in evolution and still takes the communion every Sunday." "I am the one." She responded me back. She also told me that "I do practice in a form of Christianity," since I referred myself of having a Protestant Christian background.
I asked if I can see her at lunch or time break, she says she is kind of busy with midterms for the next week, but can meet me to talk for 35 minutes at student lounge. "Well, let's do it before the spring break." She said, even though I suggested to do it after break. For the 35 minute time, I think I will keep talking about the things she is always interested (including meditations within medical and psychological context from the article which she gave it to me) and make her feeling happy. I hope she will not feel that her time is being wasted. I am thinking to ask her at the end if I can go with her to Greek Church for the services during the Great Lent, only if she feels comfortable.
As always, I am in constant worries and doubts whether she likes me or not, based on the signs she gave to me. Perhaps I am not the kind of guy for her. I told her that I usually do not make friends in class and work settings. She told me she is different since she makes a lot of friends at work. "Michael (name changed), we are the best friends right?" She spoke to her coworker. This made me jealous, because she has never said my name in front of me, which makes me less happy. I only feel much better when my name is being addressed during conversation while talking to someone.
I am not a prince
But in the past eight months and while in the process of knowing her, she still told me a lot about herself, her family background and her interests. Maybe she is just being friendly and nice to me? I am thinking if I should ask her politely before graduating of how she feels about me, whether she can consider me more than a friend. If her answer is negative or responding me back like "I am not ready/looking for a relationship" or "I am not sure," I will just tell her that I really appreciate her telling me how she feels, and will be more than happy of just being friends if she would like. I might still see her after college, but since I am running out of time and will no longer be in college, I think I perhaps I need to make a decision? If no, moves forward from the that point?