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Author Topic: So my right ear was clogged for two days.  (Read 4122 times) Average Rating: 0
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J Michael
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« Reply #90 on: August 26, 2013, 02:00:38 PM »

I hereby command all to stop including the picture when quoting the prior post.  It is ruining my scrolling enjoyment of this thread.  Angry

Does the angry British chef not amuse you over and over and over again? laugh
It is the portly gentlemen in the foreground that is ruining my desire to eat lunch.  Grin
Is his technique in making earwax Margherita pizza offputting?  Are you eating pizza? 
Just a ham sandwich, I can't afford any of those fancy foreign foods like pizza.

With some hearty cheese and some fine Dusseldorf mustard, I hope.

And some finely grated Moroccan earwax, I hope.

That's the ticket.  Moroccan earwax had some delightful nuances of lemon and fiery harissa, which would be an interesting addition to any ham sandwich.

With the added benefit of not being Kosher Parve  Grin.
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« Reply #91 on: August 26, 2013, 02:04:04 PM »

You are well on your way of mastering endotokeriology.  And knowing the dietary needs of Gentiles to boot!  laugh
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J Michael
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« Reply #92 on: August 26, 2013, 02:20:36 PM »

You are well on your way of mastering endotokeriology.  And knowing the dietary needs of Gentiles to boot!  laugh

Only by virtue of your over arching eyebrows and  great wisdom, O Waxy One.
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« Reply #93 on: August 26, 2013, 02:23:44 PM »

You are well on your way of mastering endotokeriology.  And knowing the dietary needs of Gentiles to boot!  laugh

Only by virtue of your over arching eyebrows and  great wisdom, O Waxy One.

I take on this title, humbly. Grin
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« Reply #94 on: August 27, 2013, 05:48:39 AM »

This is crazy talk. We should deregulate ear wax buildup and let the free market police itself. Soon there will be just the proper amount of ear wax for everyone. It is beneficial to have some, after all. The socialist says "No one should have ear wax" but the capitalist says "Everyone should have as much ear wax as they merit and deserve." Darn tootin!

Kommunism! Jeder nach seinen Fähigkeiten, jedem nach seinen Bedürfnissen!

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From each according to his ability, to each according to his need.


Thank you. Don't forget, always give a translation. Unless you post in the Foreign Language board, that is.
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« Reply #95 on: August 27, 2013, 09:35:46 AM »

Will do.  Cheesy  There is no language, but the language of love for earwax.
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J Michael
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« Reply #96 on: August 27, 2013, 09:38:14 AM »

Will do.  Cheesy  There is no language, but the language of love for earwax.

Cyrillic, though wise beyond his ears, still has yet to experience the love for earwax.
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« Reply #97 on: August 27, 2013, 09:42:27 AM »

Ah, what's in a name? That which we call earwax by any other name would smell as sweet.
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J Michael
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« Reply #98 on: August 27, 2013, 09:51:13 AM »

Ah, what's in a name? That which we call earwax by any other name would smell as sweet.

Ahh...waxing poetic again.  Sublime!
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« Reply #99 on: August 28, 2013, 12:46:00 AM »

Ah, what's in a name? That which we call earwax by any other name would smell as sweet.
And taste as sour.
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« Reply #100 on: August 28, 2013, 07:07:00 AM »

Ah, what's in a name? That which we call earwax by any other name would smell as sweet.
And taste as sour.

You must have had a poor batch.  There are so many delightful earwaxes to taste.  Such a wide profile of flavors and bouquets!
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« Reply #101 on: August 28, 2013, 08:02:13 AM »

*saunters in*

You guys still going on about earwax? Yuck.

*saunters out*
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« Reply #102 on: August 28, 2013, 09:57:33 AM »

Ah, what's in a name? That which we call earwax by any other name would smell as sweet.
And taste as sour.

You must have had a poor batch.  There are so many delightful earwaxes to taste.  Such a wide profile of flavors and bouquets!

That which emanates (i.e. is fracked) from the ears of North African virgins is of the highest quality--suitable for multiple purposes.  In my experience, North American wax from non-virgins almost always is sour.  Make sure you read the labels, PtA.
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« Reply #103 on: August 28, 2013, 09:57:46 AM »

*saunters in*

You guys still going on about earwax? Yuck.

*saunters out*

Snob.
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« Reply #104 on: August 28, 2013, 10:03:47 AM »

Ah, what's in a name? That which we call earwax by any other name would smell as sweet.
And taste as sour.

You must have had a poor batch.  There are so many delightful earwaxes to taste.  Such a wide profile of flavors and bouquets!

That which emanates (i.e. is fracked) from the ears of North African virgins is of the highest quality--suitable for multiple purposes.  In my experience, North American wax from non-virgins almost always is sour.  Make sure you read the labels, PtA.

This would be true due to diet and the drying effects of the North African sun and Saharan winds taking away the excess moisture from the wax, giving it properties of longevity.  In regards to labelling, I do wish countries would get together and standardize lablleing.  once I bot a bottle of Italian earwax, but later found out it was a blend of  urban Chinese and various non-virgin Mediterranean earwaxes.  It was not very good.
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« Reply #105 on: October 31, 2013, 01:25:18 PM »

Things are not looking good.  My broker has had a heck of a time coming up with anything good.  Awful Bengali knockoffs that were labelled as "100% Organic Tibetan."  The moment I opened a bottle of it, I could tell. Angry  What a waste.
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J Michael
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« Reply #106 on: November 01, 2013, 11:21:18 AM »

Things are not looking good.  My broker has had a heck of a time coming up with anything good.  Awful Bengali knockoffs that were labelled as "100% Organic Tibetan."  The moment I opened a bottle of it, I could tell. Angry  What a waste.

Caveat emptor. Sad Angry   Quality can only really be assured by collecting it yourself, unfortunately.  Perhaps this applies, too, to caballine nectar.  'Tis a sad, sad world we live in Sad Sad.
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« Reply #107 on: November 01, 2013, 12:11:28 PM »

No wonder it is so expensive.  If only I were the Indiana Jones of earwax; I would be a paid academic and my bosses would give me grant after grant to go in search of more exoctic waxes.
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J Michael
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« Reply #108 on: November 01, 2013, 12:28:50 PM »

No wonder it is so expensive.  If only I were the Indiana Jones of earwax; I would be a paid academic and my bosses would give me grant after grant to go in search of more exoctic waxes.

I've heard it said that, "It's never too late."  Except, of course, when it is Wink.
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« Reply #109 on: November 01, 2013, 12:55:13 PM »

I do not want to be on my deathbed, filled with regret and longing, thinking, "If only I had gone on that expedition into the deep wilderness in Tajikistan;  where there was rumored to be a nomadic tribe living in an isolated and primeval region; a place where the people have never heard of fracking of virgin ears.  Oh!  I will never know if it were the mere whisperings of crazed academics or if they were true."
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J Michael
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« Reply #110 on: November 01, 2013, 01:22:13 PM »

I do not want to be on my deathbed, filled with regret and longing, thinking, "If only I had gone on that expedition into the deep wilderness in Tajikistan;  where there was rumored to be a nomadic tribe living in an isolated and primeval region; a place where the people have never heard of fracking of virgin ears.  Oh!  I will never know if it were the mere whisperings of crazed academics or if they were true."

You can think all that without being on your deathbed, you know. Cheesy
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« Reply #111 on: November 01, 2013, 01:25:12 PM »

I think you really want to say your deathbed not to be defiled Wink
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« Reply #112 on: November 01, 2013, 01:44:41 PM »

I do not want to be on my deathbed, filled with regret and longing, thinking, "If only I had gone on that expedition into the deep wilderness in Tajikistan;  where there was rumored to be a nomadic tribe living in an isolated and primeval region; a place where the people have never heard of fracking of virgin ears.  Oh!  I will never know if it were the mere whisperings of crazed academics or if they were true."

You can think all that without being on your deathbed, you know. Cheesy

There's still time to book a flight!  Cheapest fare from the States is a little over 2000 dollars.
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« Reply #113 on: November 01, 2013, 02:04:19 PM »

I do not want to be on my deathbed, filled with regret and longing, thinking, "If only I had gone on that expedition into the deep wilderness in Tajikistan;  where there was rumored to be a nomadic tribe living in an isolated and primeval region; a place where the people have never heard of fracking of virgin ears.  Oh!  I will never know if it were the mere whisperings of crazed academics or if they were true."

You can think all that without being on your deathbed, you know. Cheesy

There's still time to book a flight!  Cheapest fare from the States is a little over 2000 dollars.

Is that with or without the AARP discount?
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« Reply #114 on: November 01, 2013, 02:07:51 PM »

Only if it's the Tajik Association of Retired Person card, then yes.  If it's AARP, there are an additional 14 taxes and fees.  I may have to give you a 8000-page document detailing the rules as well.  Just sign it in triplicate; I'll notarize one copy for your file, you will send the yellow copy via mail to an address I will forget to give you, and the pink copy that you can't read is for your trash can.
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« Reply #115 on: November 01, 2013, 02:11:35 PM »

Only if it's the Tajik Association of Retired Person card, then yes.  If it's AARP, there are an additional 14 taxes and fees.  I may have to give you a 8000-page document detailing the rules as well.  Just sign it in triplicate; I'll notarize one copy for your file, you will send the yellow copy via mail to an address I will forget to give you, and the pink copy that you can't read is for your trash can.

Wait....Justwaitaminute!!  I didn't ask to enroll for anybody's insurance, you know! Shocked Shocked Shocked
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« Reply #116 on: November 01, 2013, 02:15:28 PM »

Too late.  Comply or your ears WILL be fined!
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« Reply #117 on: November 01, 2013, 02:20:00 PM »

Too late.  Comply or your ears WILL be fined!

Okay.  No problem.  But I already have fine ears, you know, apart from the fact that my ear wax production and quality can't even begin to compare with that of the virgins of NW Mongolia or Tajikistan.  Oh well...

Send the forms and I will sign them in the wrong places and then lose them.
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« Reply #118 on: November 01, 2013, 02:28:35 PM »

Just make sure you don't sign a return receipt.  It won't matter, because I wouldn't have filed it anyway.

To increase ear wax production, eat more Honeycombs!  Not the real thing, but the cereal.
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« Reply #119 on: November 01, 2013, 02:33:28 PM »

Just make sure you don't sign a return receipt.  It won't matter, because I wouldn't have filed it anyway.

To increase ear wax production, eat more Honeycombs!  Not the real thing, but the cereal.

It's been my practice for many decades now to never sign receipts.  Honeycombs??  Gluten free??
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« Reply #120 on: November 01, 2013, 02:38:06 PM »

Just make sure you don't sign a return receipt.  It won't matter, because I wouldn't have filed it anyway.

To increase ear wax production, eat more Honeycombs!  Not the real thing, but the cereal.

It's been my practice for many decades now to never sign receipts.  Honeycombs??  Gluten free??

Of course. Grin  Free-range, too!
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« Reply #121 on: November 02, 2013, 01:58:25 AM »

hey guys i also have earwax problems


in fact, about a month ago i got so much earwax when I tried cleaning it out i simply pushed a huge chunk into my ear. I could not hear out of it

after puting some kind of chemical in my ear and letting it soak for 15 minutes, doing this day after day, it eventually came out. what a big glob.

it is starting to happen again, but i am too lazy to clean my ears. they are painful as well.
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« Reply #122 on: November 02, 2013, 03:19:21 AM »

See a doctor! 

If you can't get in to see a specialist, or your regular doctor, then at least go to urgent care.  You don't want to mess with something as essential as your ears.
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« Reply #123 on: November 02, 2013, 10:35:26 AM »

hey guys i also have earwax problems


in fact, about a month ago i got so much earwax when I tried cleaning it out i simply pushed a huge chunk into my ear. I could not hear out of it

after puting some kind of chemical in my ear and letting it soak for 15 minutes, doing this day after day, it eventually came out. what a big glob.

it is starting to happen again, but i am too lazy to clean my ears. they are painful as well.

I second Salpy. Ouchy ears are not good. Maybe you can try a walk-in clinic.
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« Reply #124 on: November 03, 2013, 08:16:36 PM »

An ENT physician can help.  Pain tolerance is okay, but not when it comes to something as sensitive as your ears.  Since you're not into the wax business, it's best to have a professional look at it.
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« Reply #125 on: November 03, 2013, 09:09:51 PM »

An ENT physician can help.  Pain tolerance is okay, but not when it comes to something as sensitive as your ears.  Since you're not into the wax business, it's best to have a professional look at it.

As you cannot either accurately self-diagnose or treat, and as your symptons may be wax related or something else following the advice given may be the only sensible plan.
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« Reply #126 on: November 04, 2013, 10:00:32 AM »

An ENT physician can help.  Pain tolerance is okay, but not when it comes to something as sensitive as your ears.  Since you're not into the wax business, it's best to have a professional look at it.

As you cannot either accurately self-diagnose or treat, and as your symptons may be wax related or something else following the advice given may be the only sensible plan.

Yeah, kinda hard to look into your own ear to see what is and isn't there Grin.
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« Reply #127 on: November 04, 2013, 10:06:54 AM »

hey guys i also have earwax problems


in fact, about a month ago i got so much earwax when I tried cleaning it out i simply pushed a huge chunk into my ear. I could not hear out of it

after puting some kind of chemical in my ear and letting it soak for 15 minutes, doing this day after day, it eventually came out. what a big glob.

it is starting to happen again, but i am too lazy to clean my ears. they are painful as well.

If it is ear wax build up, being "too lazy" to clean your ears regularly will lead to just what you've been experiencing, pain and all. 
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« Reply #128 on: November 04, 2013, 04:01:01 PM »

hey guys i also have earwax problems


in fact, about a month ago i got so much earwax when I tried cleaning it out i simply pushed a huge chunk into my ear. I could not hear out of it

after puting some kind of chemical in my ear and letting it soak for 15 minutes, doing this day after day, it eventually came out. what a big glob.

it is starting to happen again, but i am too lazy to clean my ears. they are painful as well.

You're not from Northwestern Mongolia, are you?
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« Reply #129 on: November 05, 2013, 04:43:58 AM »

Hello I have an update on my ear wax problems

I could not longer bear the hydrogen peroxide and water mixture since it was not clearing my ear

I went to a doctor in the southern hut of mongolia and they squirted with a giant syringe thingymajig water like a jet into my left ear. It felt like the water was going to penetrate right through my head out the other ear.

Anyway, after like 10 times doing that, a very large black hairy looking (it was really black) glob came out and i could hear clearly. They did not do my right ear though, so now everything sounds louder in my left  ear. the pain is gone

Also, the docter was very angry it sounded like with a previous patient, I could hear the other side of the hut wall the docter saying "I TOLD YOU... somethingsomethingsomething" she also had huge glasses and a funny accent, it sounded something like Romanian or something.

Anyway, my left ear is now a okay and I am currently riding my horse back to northern mongolia and sending pigeons with paper on their necks to a library in china to type my experiences out for you today.
« Last Edit: November 05, 2013, 04:45:06 AM by Gunnarr » Logged

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« Reply #130 on: November 05, 2013, 08:16:38 AM »

Typing pigeons!  Fancy that...even Marco Polo never experienced such wonders!
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« Reply #131 on: November 05, 2013, 08:26:29 AM »

You got to Mongolia?

Always wanted to see it.  Smiley
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« Reply #132 on: November 05, 2013, 09:46:02 AM »

Hello I have an update on my ear wax problems

I could not longer bear the hydrogen peroxide and water mixture since it was not clearing my ear

I went to a doctor in the southern hut of mongolia and they squirted with a giant syringe thingymajig water like a jet into my left ear. It felt like the water was going to penetrate right through my head out the other ear.

Anyway, after like 10 times doing that, a very large black hairy looking (it was really black) glob came out and i could hear clearly. They did not do my right ear though, so now everything sounds louder in my left  ear. the pain is gone

Also, the docter was very angry it sounded like with a previous patient, I could hear the other side of the hut wall the docter saying "I TOLD YOU... somethingsomethingsomething" she also had huge glasses and a funny accent, it sounded something like Romanian or something.

Anyway, my left ear is now a okay and I am currently riding my horse back to northern mongolia and sending pigeons with paper on their necks to a library in china to type my experiences out for you today.


Did you or did you not save the "...very large black hairy looking (it was really black) glob [that] came out..."?  It could be worth a fortune, you know.  Especially if you are still virginal.
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« Reply #133 on: November 05, 2013, 10:10:21 AM »

That's a big maybe.  They squirted it with water, more likely a medicinal solution; this would have contaminated the wax.  It wouldn't matter if the ears were virginal.  Remember, gentle fracking is the only way to preserve the wax's composition and properties.
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« Reply #134 on: November 05, 2013, 10:20:56 AM »

Hello I have an update on my ear wax problems

I could not longer bear the hydrogen peroxide and water mixture since it was not clearing my ear

I went to a doctor in the southern hut of mongolia and they squirted with a giant syringe thingymajig water like a jet into my left ear. It felt like the water was going to penetrate right through my head out the other ear.

Anyway, after like 10 times doing that, a very large black hairy looking (it was really black) glob came out and i could hear clearly. They did not do my right ear though, so now everything sounds louder in my left  ear. the pain is gone

Also, the docter was very angry it sounded like with a previous patient, I could hear the other side of the hut wall the docter saying "I TOLD YOU... somethingsomethingsomething" she also had huge glasses and a funny accent, it sounded something like Romanian or something.

Anyway, my left ear is now a okay and I am currently riding my horse back to northern mongolia and sending pigeons with paper on their necks to a library in china to type my experiences out for you today.


Did you or did you not save the "...very large black hairy looking (it was really black) glob [that] came out..."?  It could be worth a fortune, you know.  Especially if you are still virginal.

All of that is a given.  However....IF Gunnarr is still virginal, AND is really from Northern Mongolia....the intrinsic value of what was removed MAY help overcome the contamination from the medical removal.  A highly qualified valuer should be sent straight away!!!  Something may yet be salvaged if action is taken immediately.
« Last Edit: November 05, 2013, 10:21:31 AM by J Michael » Logged

"May Thy Cross, O Lord, in which I seek refuge, be for me a bridge across the great river of fire.  May I pass along it to the habitation of life." ~St. Ephraim the Syrian

"Sometimes you're the windshield.  Sometimes you're the bug." ~ Mark Knopfler (?)
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